Big Girl World: Birthday Bliss

In the midst of celebrating my 25th Birthday with my family and friends, I realized how old twenty-five sounded. Maybe 'old' isn't quite the right term to use, but after talking with my dear friend who turns the same number as I do just three short days later (23rd), we determined we aren't necessarily old, we are having a mid, mid-life crisis. By this I mean dreading turing 26, 27, 28, etc. We used to dream in high school about where we would be and what we would be doing... at this age.

I, for one, am somewhat right now track... with my social life. And she agreed. However, I'm more worried about my career, motherhood, and gravity. (:

In high school, I aspired to be an event coordinator and to marry Wade. I wanted to be THE perfect wife and THE perfect coordinator; planning large corporate and social events while still being able to come home to my husband and prepare a delicious, satifying meal. I wanted to put my metabolism to use - run errands, meet with clients, order cakes, food, party rentals, etc., attend dress alteration appointments, get to know people through their ideas and create it for their reality.

The same friend who shares August with me as our Birthday month was with me the day my D.R.E.A.M. was B.U.S.T.E.D. My dad, always reminding me to be realistic and to research before you make any decision, had always told me, "Emily, you need to research the degree you get to be a coordinator. You will probably have to live in a big city to really be able to support yourself. And, think really think about the job. You will have to work every weekend." So, the job fair came to Southside High School and the University of Arkansas had a booth. Ashley, my friend, and I walked into the table-filled gym to explore our dreams. I stopped at the UofA booth and I, full of energy and excitement, asked the lady standing in front of the table, "I want to be a wedding coordinator or an event coordinator. What would I major in and does UofA provide that degree?" She looked at me and replied, "Why, yes we do. It's restaurant and hotel management." I looked at Ashley, looked back at the lady still standing behind the booth, and looked back at Ashley. Then I walked away. 'Restuarant and hotel management?, I thought. That's crazy.' And there, in my high school gymnaisium with my best friend, my dream was gone. over. done.

And so I went to college - and so did Ashley... to SMU - and I stayed in Fort Smith. I cheered and founded my soririty, Delta Gamma, and met so many amazing, wonderful friends. I worked three jobs, saved my money, and finished school with an education degree. Now, don't get me wrong, I LOVE kids, but I don't want to teach. In the back of my mind, I still dream about coordinating.

I did accomplish my dream of marrying my best friend, Wade, and we, thanks to my hard work in college, managed to buy a beautiful home after we graduated and married. BUT... my mid, mid-life crisis is here. I'm having it. Like, now.

I'm twenty-five; I have an undergrad degree in Secondary English Education; I don't have a steady job like many of my other friends; I'm a substitute; I don't want to teach; I'm stuck. Stuck in a 25 year 'old' rut. So, as Ashley and I were discussing this with a cup of coffee over the phone - she's in Manhatten (NYC), living her dream, and I'm in Greenbrier, AR - we conclude neither one of us are truly where we thought we would be; for me from a career standpoint, her, from a social, relationship standpoint.

I've talked to Wade, my parents, my sister, other friends who have law degrees and doctorate degrees, and they encourage me. Encourage me to be myself, encourage me to do what I truly WANT to do, and encourage me to believe in myself. So, for now, I'm praying about where God needs me. I'm praying he leads me to where I am suppose to be. I'm praying I will live His will and to be the woman He created me to be.

I did have the best day, though! All of my family came to my house and we had a yummy lunch, grilled kabobs and shrimp, shopped, and enjoyed each others' company. It was a fabulous day! I had some surprises, too.

1. Biggest surprise... the Louis Vuitton. Yep! I got it!!!!!